The Hobbit … woo … hoo. I guess.

October 17, 2010 at 1:09 am (Geekery, Movies) ()

So the news finally broke, apparently today, that The Hobbit is finally green-lighted.  Gosh.  Yay. 

I would be ever so much more enthusiastic, except for a few things:

– – I never cared as much for the book as for The Lord of the Rings.  It’s fine, it’s fun, and that’s about all. 

– – While I enjoyed Fellowship of the Ring, there was plenty wrong with it – and then the main reason I’ve seen the other two films as often as I have was that I was caught up in the fervor on the Board Which Shall Remain Nameless.  I’ve been thinking The Two Towers wasn’t so bad – but something reminded me recently about the whole Aragorn-falls-off-a-cliff-and-is-rescued-by-his-horse thing.  Oh, right.  That was crap.  And The Return of the King?  Apart from the brutalization of characters and storyline, the scene in which Sam gives his emo speech in Osgiliath, oft quoted in footers and sniffled over, had me rolling my eyes so often when I first saw the thing that I’m surprised I didn’t do permanent damage.  I’m one of those saps who mists up at Hallmark commercials, and that speech almost put me into insulin shock.  Everything about that scene – from the fact that none of them were supposed to be where they were to what they suddenly had Frodo and Faramir doing to the composition of that speech – made me angry, which is why I’m not too happy about the fact that –

– – Peter Jackson is back directing the two films of The Hobbit.  (And I believe he and the rest of the team, Fran and Philippa, wrote the screenplay.)  I used to be a fan … but the glamor has worn off, the excitement engendered by being surrounded online by excited people has gone away, and while I still harbor admiration for Fellowship, there were one hell of a lot of decisions made – excising material, and, worse, adding crap – that tick me off.   I was happy about the opportunity to see what someone else would do with it.  Oh well.  I don’t have as much invested in The Hobbit, so I won’t care as much when he screws around with it, right?


– – I feel completely yanked around.  I don’t know how some of these people at the Nameless Board have managed to maintain their enthusiasm – the whole fiasco lost me at the first speedbump, and ever since then, through strikes and fires and resignations and all the rest of this nonsense, I’ve just shaken my head.  I was honestly beginning to think the thing was never going to be made – and, honestly, I wouldn’t have cared.  The Nameless Board?   There have been dozens of giddy posts, with thousands of views on some of them, speculating and rejoicing.  Where do they get their energy – and the confidence that they’re not being led on again? 

That’s the main one.  One of the main ones.  It’s just been dragging on too damn long. 

On the bright side, Sir Ian McKellen is definitely going to be back as Gandalf, and a lot of the sets are apparently going to be re-used or recreated.  On the not so bright side, I saw something about Patrick Stewart as Thorin.  I don’t want to see Patrick Stewart as a Dwarf.  On the bright side, Andy Serkis is returning to do the voice of Gollum.  On the not so bright – honestly, all the blather about it makes me a little queasy. 

So here I am kvetching to try to prevent myself from opening my mouth, so to speak, on the Nameless Board.  I don’t want to hurt the small handful of people I care about who do care about the thing – and I don’t want to be that one annoying person who tries to pop all the pretty balloons.  If there are people still clinging to limp little balloons, then bless their hearts, and more power to them, however annoying their extreme enthusiasm can get. 

One thing that is kind of funny is the idea that Sir Patrick might be cast, and there are rumors of David Tennant (not, I hope, as Bilbo) and/or Sylvester McCoy.  If nothing else, it would be kind of fun to have three of my worlds collide in one film – Tolkien, Trek, and Who. 

Ah well.  If this is what it was like on the Nameless Board back in the days when they were discussing casting for the trilogy, back when Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman were being mentioned (*shudder*) – I’m not as sorry as I used to be that I missed it.  It’s not what it was cracked up to be.

ETA – I forgot one.  Another cause for extreme eye-rolling: The Hobbit is apparently going to be filmed in 3-D.  Oh, just – spare me.  Why not put it off a few more years and make it scratch-and-sniff, too?

OK, now I’m done.


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